BUT HE IS TOO LITTLE..............

*sniff*

Its been a hard day............

Its been an emotional day......

One of my 'babies' started school today...... my second youngest.... my little skinny boy

He keeps telling me "Im a big boy now mummy"

*sniff* I know you are sweetheart

................... b b b but your still my baby (more mummy tears)

Daddy made sure he was on afternoon shift this week so he could be there to take him everyday.... then brave daddy took the camera off mummy and took all the photos (mummy thinks its so no one could see daddies tears.....)

He looked sooooo adorable in his school uniform - it looked miles to big for him... the smallest size they had was a 6 ... a 4 would have been so much better. Well he will grow im sure lol

Anyway - he loved it, loves his teacher, made some new friends (but cant remember their names yet) and got a big kick out of seeing the Drama Queen in the playground at lunch time!

Poor Cheeky was devastated that his playmate went off to school without him - hopefully we can get him into a kindy (pre school) soon

Then I will be ALL alone (LOTS MORE MUMMY TEARS)

I missed you........

I feel so bad my little blog for not writing in you last night - Im so sorry.

I wish I could say it wont happen again but I am more honest than that and I fear it will LOL

Anyway, yesterday I felt like I was in and out the car all day - Mums taxi - thats me!

Thats my excuse for not writing - and Im sticking to it!

I will be back............. (thats your cue to run and hide.......)

xoxo

By tomorrow i meant TOMORROW...

Remember yest when i said tomorrow I will actually do some stuff around here instead of reading blogs all day?
Well By tomorrow I meant tomorrows tomorrow!

Yep you guessed it - i got nuffin done again today - bad bad mummy.... bad bad housewife!

DH was supposed to have the day off but seeing as its a public holiday he volunteered to work - he gets double time or triple time or somewhat - so its a good thing money wise but I feel like its been forever since he had a day off!

I actually thought about turning away from the computer long enough to write myself a list of what I want to get done/achieve - something to mark off as i go - something to inspire me........

I havent done it yet!

Ive been reading so many blogs today and learnt a lot.
I didnt realise some people could be so nasty when leaving comments on peoples blogs - I was shocked! I always thought a blog is just your personal opinion - yet people get attacked for saying how they feel. Its rather sad and I would be just heartbroken if someone ever did that to me.... fingers crossed.

Some peoples blogs are very witty and fun to read, others get very political or heavy - very deep and meaningful - a little too deep for me.

I actually like reading about peoples lives, the good and not so good times. About raising their families, coping with personal and relationship issues, getting back on their feet financially.

But I guess thats the beauty of Blogs isnt it - that we are all different and there are blogs out there that are sure to appeal to all of us.

Some people have 'followers' too - regular readers of their blogs - that amazes me to no end..... I know that this is not something that will ever happen to me, im not witty, funny or interesting enough........... but what a kick you'd get out of that eh?

Nice to dream......

Night Night my little blog xoxo

Wasted

Hmmm interesting title eh?

I wish I could say Ive been getting stuck into the wine and had a fantastic day and now I am totally 'wasted' ..................... but alas.............

Nope............ Wasted............. its how I feel about today.

Darn Blogs........... Ive spent the whole day being emersed in other peoples lives via their blogs that i have acheieved and done absolutely NUFFIN.

Ann tells me reading blogs is addictive............. WELL DUH! You could have told me that BEFORE you got me hooked.

My home used to be spotless - like a showhome..... until I started blogging........

Okay now I am just full of crap hehe

Maybe I should have titled this entry TOMORROW........... cos tomorrow I will actually do some stuff around here.......... the sun will come out tommooorrroooowwwww

Yeh and piggys may fly. :o)

Today wasnt a TOTAL waste though - I did make cookies YUM

Skinny Boy loves to help me - he is so cute as he rolls little bits of cookie mix between his hands (he has had lots of experience with play doh)

He also is rather heavy handed with the Chocolate Chips.......... DH at one point asked if we liked cookie dough with our choc chips!! The only thing skinny boy wont do it actually eat the cookies - he doesnt eat chocolate (I KNOW - WEIRD!!) (AND YES HE IS MY KID)

Skinny Boy concentrating on rolling the cookie dough 'just right'

Each cookie needs a ratio of 80% choc chips to 20% dough

MMMMMM Cookies in the oven - get those glasses of milk ready

(It is also quite embarrassingly apparent I need to clean my oven lol)

Im a mover...

Ive worked it out......... i dont clean or declutter - I MOVE things.

Phew! Glad i got THAT off my chest........ felt like I should have been in confessional.

I have always known I am a hoarder - Dh has told me that often enough.... but over the past few weeks I have been 'sorting' thru stuff and thinking back not a lot actually got turfed.

I just went through 3 drawers stuffed with paperwork - determined to purge purge purge.....

I ended up with a small pile to toss, a pile to redirect to my current files in my filing cabinet........... and.............

3 drawers of filing!

What the???????????

How does that work? I got NOWHERE!!

And another thing - I believe that stuff multiplies all by itself in my house

Every 4-5 months we go right through our garage and end up taking 1-2 trailer loads to the tip and a car full to the charity shop..........

Yet within 2 months.............. ITS BAAAACCCCCKKKK!

AND its brought many new friends....

Where the heck does it all come from?

I soooo want to declutter this place, I want to be FREE FREE FREE

I want one of those sparse clean clutter free homes like in the magazines

Im dreaming arnt i :o(

I think my biggest problem/fear is that I will get rid of something and then regret it later.....

Or I get too caught up in the money side of things........

But I could sell that on ebay............... (WHEN??? I prob never will)

I might have a garage sale?................ (Again.... WHEN???)

I could fix it and use it? ................. (Now who is kidding who?)

I paid good money for that.............. (ok so you wasted your money, its done ... get OVER it)

I might need it one day.............. (Yes you might... but big chances are you wont)

I go nuts at the kids for the crap they keep yet i am JUST as bad if not WORSE

If you took a look in my wardrobe for example you would find 3 crates and 6 boxes of clothes......

My skinny me clothes

I try tell myself that i will need them fr when I lose this weight........

I also try talk myself into throwing them away - they will prob be out of date by the time I get skinny again

I just cant do it...............

I try convince myself that I will feel lighter, free-er, that a big load will lift if I purge it all......

but what if I dont.... what if I regret it? man I am pathetic

So I sit in my cluttered house - feeling like I cant even breathe somedays..........

Before Christmas last year I got tired of the mess in our lounge/study area - I was so sick of my desk/craft table looking like a bomb had hit it. My desk was the butt of the families messy jokes. So I cracked..........
I went and bought a small computer desk........ big enough for the computer and thats all.
I came home, packed ALL my craft and scrapbooking stuff in boxes and shoved them out into the garage.
I got DH to take the monster table out and put the new smaller computer desk in.

It looks soooo much neater, tidier etc now, just a quick wipe every few days and a sweep of the floor and that part of the room has never been so tidy.

BUT now I miss my craft *sniff*

I cant win. I want to go rescue all my nice papers and embellishments from the garage but where would I put them? I have a scrapbook storage tower I picked up on sale but it wont hold even 1/8th of what I have..........

Mebe if I purged mycrapbook supplies I could just keep the best bits........ but then what would I do with the rest? I cant throw it away, I wouldnt want to just give it away......... I paid good money for that........ what if i regret it later? HERE I GO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmmmmmm think I might have to troll the internet for inspiration.............

me be back............
xoxo

Cheeky being serious

A rare photo of Cheeky - rare in that he is clean and not wearing his big cheeky smile

I love it though

Taken Jan 15th 2008 during a family day out

Take two.........

Okay two posts on one night? lets not make a habit of this eh

I just couldnt go to bed and leave my poor little blog with all that negativity........

So I thought i would do a little rerun of my day to end the evening

Hmmmmmmmm

Now I wish we had dome something exciting lol

Today was my niece's last full day here - she has been here for almost 2 weeks and flies back home tomorrow. Poor girl does not want to go home and we have really enjoyed having her here too. The Actress had to work today from 8am till 3pm so my niece watched Buffy dvds with the Drama Queen.

I woke Dh up at 3pm (I hate when he is on midnights) and after i picked The Actress up from work the kids all decided they wanted to go hang out at the shops and go to Maccas for dinner.

DH dropped them all off (Bar the little 2) and then surprised me by bringing home come chinese for our dinner and chips for the little 2. (Very healthy eh)

The girls rang to be picked up from the shops a couple of hours later but the boys decided to stay down there. Sporty ran into his gf and her brother and they stayed down there with them. The gf's mum dropped them home later.

So in all it was a quiet evening........ nothing romantic........ even when skinny boy and cheeky both fell asleep and it was just the two of us.... well lets just say neither of us could be bothered getting off our couches to get romantic ...... talk about an old couple!!!!!!!!!

The Actress has been really moody tonight - I have tried talking to her but cant get a straight answer as to why........ maybe once her cousin has gone home tomorrow we can have a proper chat. Im so thankful that my kids still come to me when they are upset.... Id be devastated to lose that communication with them.

Only funny thing i can think of that happened today was a conversation with cheeky.

I was readng a blog online and he was laying beside me on the bed chattering away. Being the terrible mother I am I was only half listening.

I thought he said he was a train.

Mum: Oh your a train are you baby?

Cheeky: NO MUMMY I not a train........... SEE! I has ears and legs and tummy and wee wee and bum and eyes and nose and hands and feets and cheeks......... TRAINS DONT HAVE THEMS

slight pause

Cheeky: (half under his breath) silly mummy!

He makes me laugh so much - he comes out with the cutest things....... and you just had to be there to see his expressions.......... like mums totally lost it calling me a train!

No matter how sad i feel or what kind of day i have had that boy can cheer me up in an instant.

Gosh i love my kids.................

most of the time *wink*

catcha xoxo

Me Sad

That was my text message to Dh just now



Me Sad



Poor guy is at work, doing a midnight shift.... prob working his cute butt off to make money for us and thats my encouraging text message to him



Me Sad



I dont know what I expect the man to do about it. Perhaps race home, grabbing wine and chocolates on the way, and coming home to wrap me in his arms and make everything better.



I wish!



So WHY am I sad? Dunno (typical woman eh)



Im sitting on my bed looking through blogs, eating a packet of chips - well 2 packets if I am honest........... BUT they are the small snack sized ones (that makes it better doesnt it?)



BUT BUT BUT I am drinking water too - doesnt the water rule out the fat in the chips?



I feel fat! (Theres logic there somewhere - feel fat so you eat junk???)



I feel bored



I feel like my life is running away without me.



Im now 35 years and 2 days in age



I thought I would be more, have more and have done more at this age



I know 35 isnt really that old - I keep reminding myself that some people are only just starting their families at this age.............



The weird thing is I dont feel 35 in some ways yet I feel so much older in other ways.



Now I am confusing myself.



My body feels like its 80. Im so tired all the time, I feel so uncordinated, Im sure if I tried to dance id look terribly drunk. No matter how long i sleep I wake up feeling like ive been on an all night bender. No matter if I eat crap or go for the lean meat and salad i feel bloated and sick afterwards. Sometimes I feel like my body is just giving up on me.



Yet in my head i think I am about 15....... i dont feel old enough to have kids, never mind a 15 yr old! My daughter starts year 11 next week..... HEY I HAVENT EVEN BEEN IN YEAR 11 YET!!



Sometimes I will be at the shops or movies and see young guys (early 20's) and I think oh he's cute and then when they look straight through me I will realise they prob look at me and see 'some old lady'......... sometimes it shocks me to remember I am not some young chick anymore. Hmm does this make me sound like some sick old bird who chases young men? Geeezz Thanks Ann for suggesting a blog - Im going to get arrested now!!



What happened?



And then I look at the magazines etc and see stars around my own age and holy crap I feel like I could pass for their mothers! yes yes I know they have all those stylists, nutritionists etc...... but c'mon...... oh I just feel so ripped off!



I was looking through some blogs today and came across this blog..... I had to reboot so I dont remember the name of it........



But it was a young family, Mom (American ok), dad, 2 girls and a boy



All gorgeous - even mom - she was young slim and so pretty



They had photos of their house (O M G talk about beautiful)



They had photos of the kids, all looked like little angels, doing the whole pumpkin carving thing, their family photo/christmas card, going to the tree farm to chop down their tree, which was later erected in their perfect living room and decorated like something out of a department store.



This ladies blog was almost sickening, everything sounded so perfect - and to top it off she had this massive list down one side of links to allthe other bloggers in her family..... sisters, sister in laws, cousins etc



And everyone of them was just as gorgeous and perfect......



Man i could have cried



Actually I did



Pathetic eh. Its like everything I dreamt of as a child........ I didnt know some people actually lived like that. That sucks man!



Im sure they have disagreements, and surely the kids have tantrums and get sick and vomit through those pretty bedrooms and stuff............. but oh man.......



Imagine not having to rush around and clear a space for the visitors who just called to say they are popping in.......



Imagine actually being proud of your home and not deadly ashamed of the mess and mismatched furniture....



Imagine waking up in a lovely room and getting dressed in nice clothes (and fitting into a nice small size wouldnt hurt either)



Heck i recon even cleaning would be nicer........



Im feeling very ingrateful right now



I want to delete all of this and just type something sweet and maybe funny but thats not what I wanted to do this for.... i want to be honest.... if the truth is funny then great, if its me going thru a bad moment then thats ok too.

Ok thats my whinge for now..... I need to go check on all of the kids - make sure they are not trashing everything... yes they should be in bed but hey its school holidays......

I will be back..............

Okay - everyone starts somewhere right?

Here goes......

My first post in my brand new blog TA DAAAAA!

Is that long enough? whats the accepted amount of writing in each post?

How about I start with how and why I have started this blog.....

One word for you................ ANN!

Yes my buddy Ann - it is now down in black and white that this is all her doing and her idea so if this all goes pear shaped I can blame her and she will owe me forever... on the other side if it goes wonderfully well I am sure she will insist I send her chocolate :)

Ive been curious about blogs for a long time - have often thought about starting one but then wonder to my self what I would write about and why anyone at all would want to read about my life.... but heck you only live once and I would hate to look back and think yeh I shoulda done that.... I have enough of those regrets already!!

So if you have somehow made a wrong left at some point in your tour of the WWW and you have landed at my blog and find yourself totally bored then I apologise in advance - and for future reference you should have taken a sharp right :)

For now this is it - I will be back.......